Christmas in San Antonio

The awesome Tree of Tillandsia with a neat statue at the SA Botanical Gardens

Jingle BELL time / Is a SWELL time...
Matt and I just got back from our annual(ish) Christmas trip to San Antonio to see the lights on the Riverwalk. Every year SA hangs these big C9-style lights in Mexicanish colors (red AND fuchsia, plus gold, blue and green) in the giant old baldcypresses on the Riverwalk. There are luminaries (real ones, with candles--take that, Santa Fe!) and the bridges are outlined in lights and everything reflects in swirly patterns in the water. It's a totally artificial environment (the "river" closely resembles the water rides at Epcot), but that doesn't really matter because it's so sparkly and otherworldly.

This year we decided to spend the night. We paid for a room a couple months in advance through Expedia (the only way to handle the expense at this already pricey time of year) at the fanciest hotel I've ever stayed at: the toiletries were by Aveda! I came away with about $30 in travel products after just a single night's stay. It was called the Hotel Contessa and is directly on the river, which was our principle criterion. We had big windows looking right down on the Riverwalk, which was a neat, if somewhat underutilized, feature. This was our sitting room (yeah, that's right: a sitting room. It's where we entertained visiting business tycoons and foreign dignitaries).

Well, where would YOU entertain the ambassador from Lesotho?

The Windcrest Light Up
First we drove through the Windcrest lights display. Windcrest is a town/neighborhood in SA that's famous for its lights. We didn't have good directions and drove around for a while in this rather lame neighborhood near Windcrest thinking, "Wow, this place is really overrated." Then we found the right spot and it took about 30 minutes in line to get in. Tip #1 for Windcrest visitors: get a reliable map and go in one of the side ways--the front way (by the Presbyterian church on Midcrown) is a mad, homicidal crush.

Some of the displays were pretty impressive, but it was spotty--there were definitely some unspirited backwaters. Tip #2: download Windcrest's map of their winning homes and draw out a route to follow--otherwise you'll wander aimlessly like Rapunzel's boyfriend in the wilderness.

The best--in my opinion--was the massive light display choreographed to this Michael Bay-esque rendering of Christmas carols--full orchestra, fast paced, lots of percussion, and gratuitous explosions (just kidding about that last). It sounded like the theme from Pirates of the Caribbean, but it was actually "The Little Drummer Boy." There was a tree made of several layers of lights that lit in independent spirals going in opposite directions, there was a waterwall effect of lights draped over the front of the house, there were stars on the roof that each came on independently, and there were copious tree and bush wrappings. And it was all linked to the music. We've got a choreographed display here in Elgin, but I gotta tell you, the Michael Bay Christmas was all that, squared, with fudge sauce and a cherry.

San Antonio Botanical Gardens
And then we went to the SA Botanical Gardens this morning, which was fun. Even though many of the plants were frost-nipped, the weather was so crisp and blue and cool that this was easily my favorite visit to the SABOT ever (all previous visits involved buckets of sweat).

They had a new (to us) series of entomological sculptures made of wood. Here, Matt shakes his fist defiantly at one of three giant invading ants. I'm sorry to say that the ant looked completely unfazed.

Man vs. Nature: Matt and the giant invader ants.

The conservatory complex had some of the most interesting displays, I thought. Here's a sculpture/fountain by the conservatory pond.

"Cupid's Fountain" by Susan Budge in a shady nook at the conservatory pond

And here's an absolutely ass-kicking Tillandsia sp. [?] from the main conservatory, seen from below. (Unmarked. Naturally. It's always the ones you're most interested in that are unlabeled.)

A Tillandsia [?] from below

The Tillandsia was from this fantastic tree full of them (and other bromeliads) in the conservatory. I thought the statue was pretty darn cool, too, though she has a bunch of upsetting spiky things inside the aperture in her head. The sculptor, Susan Budge, seems very interested in the idea of the vagina dentata (a meme that pops up in different time periods around the globe, positing the notion that some women's special equipment comes enhanced with teeth. That's right--teeth. I'm not making this up--see Wikipedia for details. Men can be so weird sometimes.) I kinda get wanting to play with this particular phobia (as the bad fairy in Shrek II maliciously says, "Let's explore that, shall we?"), but the upshot is a little more disruptive than I usually like my bromediad experiences--although those also tend to involve toothed apertures (Mother Nature--so kinky!) In any event: pretty neat statue from the outside. Just don't peer too closely into its face.

The Tree of Tillandsia, which looks absolutely gorgeous with the grey-aqua of this kinky statue

SABOT has a number of Crinum in their "Old-Fashioned Garden" (naturally, but sadly, not in bloom now), but they also had this blooming apparition veiled in mist in the Fern house.

Crinum in the mist

Other items of interest
I am so fond of this shrimp plant. It's not as awesome as my favorite, 'Fruit Cocktail,' but it's a pretty strong contender, with its luminous ivory bracts, lightly tinted with green.

Ivory shrimp plant

Also, Matt and I were impressed with someone's inventiveness in applying plant materials from around the gardens to a wreath. The brown comes from the trunk of palm trees, the blue is from Arizona Cypress, the green is (presumably) some other kind of cypress, and the palm fronds are, well, palm fronds. All embellished with ball moss--not as pretty as Spanish moss (Tillandsia usneoides), but much more authentic to the area.

Wreath from garden materials

We also enjoyed the demonstration gardens with the tiny, tiny houses. They're meant to showcase different waterwise landscaping styles (our landscape--by happenstance, not intention--is largely cottage, with a pinch of wildlife-friendly).

As sometime plant snobs, we were particularly amused by the unspoken commentary on the conventional, suburban landscape--the lot representing this "style" had the dullest house, painted the dullest color, with a big flat stretch of St Augustine, capped off with a row of boxwoods and another row of redtips (two of the dullest foundation shrubs available).

Message: you can be funky-cool like the xeriscapic house, innovative and integrated into nature like the wildlife and Hill Country houses, soulful like the Mexican courtyard house, or drearily conformist and white bread, like the dead-eyed automata at the traditional house.

The tiny, tiny houselets of "Watersaver Lane" Patio Man and the Sprawl People live in the beige house behind the Photinia. The Hill Country and Wildlife houses are beyond.

...And then home again this afternoon in time to upload some pix and blog about it.

Giant philodendron in the Fern house

Holiday Recap

One of our more spirited Elgin neighbors. I counted eleven inflatables. Whoa.

Quick overview of the holidays.

We had the Ulrich side over for Christmas this year, for a grand total of SEVEN people at Christmas dinner. Hermit that I am, this was an almost-overwhelming flood of humanity. Not only challenging to my limited extroversion, but also to our modest infrastructure. We don't have enough chairs, glasses, teaspoons, or a large enough tea pitcher for 7 people at once. Sad, but true.

But fortunately, our 5 guests were very gracious and didn't grumble at all about the mis-matched tablecloths draped together to cover the dinner table/card table hybrid, the rocking chair Dad had to sit in for dinner, or the fact that you have to turn the hot water to the guest tub on and off at the wall, as the faucet isn't really up to the task.

Dad, Mattchew, Bianca, Matt, Grandpa, Mom

And it really was fun. I enjoyed showing off the bits of the house that are functional and everyone ooo'd about how much it had changed in the past nine months, so it was all very gratifying. And even without matching glassware, entertaining your family for the holidays feels so very grown up.

We had a fried turkey. The dangers associated with turkey frying had been forcefully impressed upon us by various safety-conscious friends and family, so we prepared by reading the instruction manual cover to cover, researching on the internet, and watching Alton Brown on YouTube.

We also bought a fire extinguisher.

Alton uses this complicated contraption made with pulleys and an aluminum ladder to lower the turkey into the hot oil. We didn't have the resources to make our own Turkey Derrick(TM), but in the spirit of kindred dweebiness, we made a little device of our own for lowering the turkey at a safe distance. We used one of the poles from the hurricane fence we've been slowly dismantling, drilled a hole in it, and bolted on a hook. We suspended the turkey from the hook and carried the whole thing on our shoulders, like cannibals proudly dragging their victims to the spit. Then we got on either side of the turkey fryer, and s-l-o-w-l-y lowered in the 21-lb. beast. Easy peasy!

It did actually fit in the pot just fine--the wings and legs folded in as we lowered the bird into the pot.

And here's the finished bird, prior to carving.

The final destiny of the turkey--some of the best-smelling stock I've ever made.

My biggest present was the refinished hardware for Dottie, Greg, Ezekial, Flossie, Ethel, and Poindexter (our new/old doors). Dad went through a painstaking process to strip, clean, and polish the hardware, with lovely results. Compare to how they looked when we first bought them. The steel plates and knobs turned a pretty, satiny goldy-grey, especially the one in the middle, which had a little bit of brass plating left on it.



The Edwardian plates that go on the closet doors (that is, Flossie, Ethel, and Poindexter) amazed us all by transmogrifying into gorgeous solid brass. (Check out what they used to look like.) Fancy! Fortunately for us, the crystal knobs that we had chosen to go with them were also solid brass, so they match beautifully. We're really looking forward to installing them, but it isn't going to happen right away. We need to refinish the doors, have them cut to fit the frame, and have them installed--so we need to find a reliable carpenter for the job.


Dad was particularly pleased with the smooth mechanism and heavy-gauge brass used in the locks for the closet doors. I can't wait to find out whether or not they are actually mahogany.

In the same category of major house aquisitions, Matt's bday/xmas gift to me was this awesome Tiffany reproduction lamp, which goes really well with the paint job in the dining room. In addition to a very intricate stained glass shade with waterlilies, the lamp also has this nifty flowy voluptuous art nouveau stand (with eggplants? or gourds? we're not entirely sure) and a tiled base in the prettiest shade of green. The whole thing is very serene and lovely and watery and cool.

Our lovely new lamp. To the right is Matt's gourd art, Henri #1

With the fancy-pants chandelier and the table runner and potted plants, doesn't the lamp give the illusion that we have Arrived?

Yule Blog

Our Christmas update is below. If you prefer it in a more traditional Christmas-cardy look, click the pic below for a full-size greeting-card style text. Otherwise, scroll down for our Christmas blog.

The Year of the House

It's been a pretty outstanding year for the Ménage à M. We finally became homeowners, buying a dear little early-20c. farmhouse in Elgin last March. It's got a stone façade, almost half an acre of land, and 9½-ft ceilings. We've spent almost all our free time, money, and energy refurbishing it, from floor to ceiling. And although by now I've now got latex paint instead of blood running through my veins, we're nowhere near done.

Fortunately, we've had a lot of support from our friends and family. One of the really neat things about our house is that every room has been touched by someone's generosity, from the Fulda's paint to Mattchew & Bianca's herb garden, Keith's outlets, Kate's yellow closets, Cathy's trim, Ladonna's curtains, Chuck's electrical work, and Mom and Dad's antique doors.

In light of this DIY frenzy, it's fortunate that I found a new job. No more red shoes! My old contracting company called me up and offered me a permanent position. I'm now with a much more flexible, creative, and versatile company, working on technologically hip projects. No more lacerating my self-respect every day in a toxic atmosphere of fear and mismanagement! It's a good thing. And the pay is better, which helps with all the new light fixtures and whatnot.

Meanwhile, Matt's managing a landscape crew at a home for the cognitively challenged. His job involves training the residents, and he really gets a kick out of working with them, in spite (or perhaps because?) of all their quirks and idiosyncrasies. Which is a good thing, because his ongoing quest to find a job with competent, sane management seems doomed to failure. So at least there are compensations.

He's also been working on his business, which now has a name and website (abundifloraplants.com—check out the cool logo our friend Linda made for us). He's been moving part of his growing operation to Elgin and is finishing a greenhouse in the back yard. In addition, Mom and Dad gave him their old Jeep and he bought a trailer, so all in all it's been a good year for the infrastructure.

This year we also got our first pet, a slightly deranged polydactyl kitten named Po. He's a very cute little tabby with giant clodhopper feet and, apparently, voices in his head. That's okay. We like him like that.

Preternaturally well-adjusted, Stepford-sounding holiday newsletters really creep me out, so I'll just mention that on the down side, we got carpenter ants this year, we gouged a few planks of our new bamboo floors, I'm still allergic to housework, and Matt still won't eat his vegetables.

We hope you have a warm and happy holiday season!

Love,

Matt and Mel

Season of Mists and Malevolent Fungalness

Up till around 9am today, I would have said that this was a pretty darn good weekend. Let's start with the good stuff.

Turkey Fryers for Everyone!

Care to fry a turkey? Or three? Bonus points if you can spot the naughty kitty.

I ordered a turkey fryer for Matt for Christmas. As of last night, three turkey-frying sets had shown up on our front door step. I had initially ordered a set from 1 company who told me that the model I wanted had been discontinued. So then I ordered a different model from a 2nd company. Apparently, the first company found a couple of the discontinued units and mailed the to me anyway (Why 2 though? No one knows). Meanwhile, the second company shipped me their model. I'm supposed to mail the first 2 back (and get a reimbursement) but until then, if you have an urgent need to fry 3 large turkeys all at once, you know whom to call.

A juvenile aside: check out the logo from company #1. Is that as wrong as I think it is?

I'm not sure this is legal in Texas.

Let There Be Light
Matt installed the new dimmer switch for our chandelier and got everything up and running. It looks terrific, I think. We still have to patch the sheet rock, but this project is very close to happy completion.

Our new chandelier

You can also see in this picture that I've finally pulled down the tissue paper we'd been using as curtains. As a temporary but less objectionable solution, I draped a couple of panels from previous residences over suspension rods. It's less déclassé than the paper, and it should hold us through late spring, when I will (hopefully) be able to buy custom shutters.

At the same time, I dragged out all the Christmas stuff and altered it to fit the new house--we have garland out front with twinkle lights and faux luminaries (I have mixed feelings about these, but they were just so much more practical than the real thing. And Santa Fe uses faux luminaries, so I guess if they're good enough for Santa Fe, they should be good enough for me and Elgin.) So the house is looking all pretty and illuminated.

Our modest Christmas decorations

New Knobs
It is a curious fact that the four exterior doors on our house are not keyed to the same keys. In fact, the deadbolts and knobs on some of the individual doors don't even match each other. When we moved in, we were given a key that opens the kitchen knob and the living room bolt and that's it. The rest of the locks effectively operate as deadbolts. We could have just gotten everything re-keyed, but they were also in mis-matched finishes, and none of the finishes were at all stylish, so we are instead replacing them.

So on Saturday we picked up our first installment of brand-new knobs and bolts in utterly au courant oil-rubbed bronze finish. The installation was more or less painless, and our house is now that much more genteel.

A new knob

The Orangery
Meanwhile, the Orangery is making good progress. Matt used pipes from the old hurricane fence that he had dismantled as the frame and today attached PVC pipes to hold up the roof. He'll hopefully have it covered by tonight, keeping our citruses and his propagules nice and warm.

In future years, we hope to build a more permanent structure out of cinderblocks and recycled windows (following the example at the San Antonio Antique Rose Emporium and the smaller, cuter version at the Independence ARE), but this early prototype will do for this winter.

...And that brings me to the bad news.

Rose Death
That horrible fungus that attacked the roses earlier this summer has returned. I noticed this morning that our lovely mystery red rose had a bunch of dead stems; when I investigated the rest of the garden, I found signs of this supercharged canker/dieback on most of the roses. Some were minor; I could just cut back the stems and the plants will probably be good as new. But some of them had developed fungus in those little short stems right near the crown; I can cut off the stems, but the fungus has probably already begun to invade the rest of the plant through the crown.

The mystery rose was pretty far gone; I didn't really have any choice but to dig it up. I did take some cuttings from the healthy side of the plant, but I think we need to be prepared for the worst. In imminent danger due to the location of the canker on the plants are one of the Cramoisu Superieurs, Graham Thomas, both Duchers, Buff Beauty, and one of the Green Ices.

I also dug up the roses that had already died this year (which I obviously should have done a long time ago). Here's a roll-call of the honorable dead:

2 gorgeous red cabbagey mystery roses

1 Spice

1 the pink miniature that John & Ann gave us (neighbors back at Wolverton)

1 Belinda's Dream

1 Climbing Peace

1 Penelope

1 Will Fleming yaupon (possible victim of same disease)

The only roses that appear untouched are the neat striped rose that was here when we moved in and the thrice-accursed Knockout. I know I shouldn't hate Knockout. I mean, how perverse is it to resent a plant on the grounds that it is healthy, has an attractive form, and blooms constantly? Particularly as these are the same reasons I love roses like Mutabilis, Cramoisi, and Old Blush. But it's such a strident shade of pink, and the flower form is so bleh; and because it blooms so much, it feels somehow artificial. It's not a sincere rose, like those old-school Chinas that I love. Which is perfectly ridiculous and utterly Luddite, but there's nothing I can do about it. I don't like Knockout, and I don't think I ever will. Although in 6 months' time, it may be the only rose left in my garden.

In other News of the Weird...

The Ladybugs are Swarming
I didn't know ladybugs could swarm, but they're crawling all over the kitchen and study doors (perhaps they came to admire the new knob and bolt in stylish oil-rubbed bronze?). We also have some 2 or 3 dozen inside the doors, which conclusively answers the question, "Are my exterior doors weatherproof?" They're not even laydbugproof, so I guess fixing the weatherstripping and trim around our doors needs to go on my to-do list.

Many, many ladybugs inside the house

Hmmm... hadn't quite realized how this pic would show off the remaining tissue paper shades... A little shaming. The study is the last untamed room. Everything else had assumed some kind of order and has moved on from the tissue paper stage; the study is still a bit of a wilderness. I'll get to working on that... sooner or later.